I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
