oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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