This girl is more easily done than said...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
