***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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