I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
