Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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