Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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