oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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