I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize