Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I have aggressive nipples.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize