party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize