I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
