Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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