I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
