So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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