this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
