There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
