Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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