That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
