You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you win again, gameday.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
