i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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