11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
