Where did you get a picture of my penis
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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