did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
