The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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