It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
