Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Randomize
