3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
