Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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