Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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