And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
God, I missed his penis.
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