i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
