I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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