some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
