this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
