hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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