..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
