Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
