He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
