dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
