office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
