i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
