Dude my mom stole all your condoms
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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