The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
