Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
