I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Dicks are not precious.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
