why didn't you poke me back
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
