So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
