Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We smell like vodka and hangover
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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