I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
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