Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
