I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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