Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
