I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
