her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
