so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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