Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
