If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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