so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize