So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize