brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Are my feet made of real feet?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
